I'm Literally Just Faking It

Radical Readiness

What are you waiting for?

I spend the first ten years of my career waiting. Waiting for someone to notice. Waiting for the email, the feature, the invite, the collaboration. I think if I’m patient enough, talented enough, someone will eventually call on me. That’s the idea we’re comfortable with—be good, and you’ll be chosen.

But the choosing never comes. Or if it does, it comes too slowly, too sparsely, too dependent on someone else’s timeline. One day, it just hits me: I have to take matters into my own hands.

Readiness, as it turns out, is a choice. There will never be a perfect moment.

I call that moment my meeting with radical readiness—the decision to act not because I feel ready, but because I refuse to keep shrinking. It’s a push from a deeper place, where self-trust outweighs self-doubt, and the need to express becomes louder than the fear of not being accepted.

That’s the energy that pushes me to expand my business beyond vintage curation. I’ve built a world around honoring the work of other designers—collecting, styling, and telling their stories. But designing my own shoe line? That wasn’t something I felt “qualified” to do on paper.

I don’t have a formal design degree or a production team. What I do have is a deep, obsessive love for shoes—and years of studying the silhouettes, materials, and construction of vintage pairs that have survived decades. I have an archive of references. I have instinct. And most importantly, I have the will to bring my dreams to life.

So I step in. I step up. And I begin.

I Google what I don’t know. I read and listen to people whose work I admire. I ask for help—recently naming my boyfriend as my unofficial COO. I ask smart questions and dumb ones. Some days feel impossible. Other days feel like magic.

This shoe is my first pancake. It won’t be perfect, but it will be real—a reflection of where I’m starting, and a glimpse of what I’m capable of building for Nou Shoes.

That’s the part no one tells you: most of us are winging it. We’re piecing it together with whatever scraps of courage, curiosity, and caffeine we can find. And if I’m honest—every day, I still wonder if I’m going to fail. Every night, I whisper a little prayer that you’ll love—and maybe even buy—the shoe I’m creating.

This is what faking it until you make it really means: Not pretending to know everything, but pretending just long enough to remember who the fuck you are. Because radical readiness isn’t about confidence. It’s about devotion. It’s about taking the first step and trusting that clarity will meet you in motion. Begin without a blueprint. Begin with the account in overdraft. Begin while still tangled in self-doubt, still unsure of where this all leads.

The truth is, there are people doing what you dream of—not because they’re more talented or more deserving, but because they dared to move while you stood still. You don’t need permission to take up space, to create, to try, to fail. The most powerful tool you’ll ever wield is your own willingness to show up as you are.

You are enough.

And the more you return to your authentic self, the steadier everything inside you becomes. There is nothing more regulating than truth. Nothing more healing than the freedom to do what you want to do—and be who you really are.

I say this from experience. You don’t have to feel ready to be ready.

You just have to begin.